Thank you God

After what happened yesterday..i just have to post this again. I am a human….so pls treat me like one. Its not about who wants what.Its about how u treat someone..All this time…after what they have done to me.I still have the ‘was it my fault’ thinking...But thank God..after yesterday.I realized that it was not me..it was always them. I am way….much stronger now :) People…u can check my friendster anytime u want and pls dont forget to make a duly report k…that someone wont believe in me.So u dont have to worry now.It was never about me..it was always about u actually.U jus dun realize it.Hope u r happy as I am now..i am so damn relief n happy now.Thanx to u :) Like u said..Apa Lagi??!! Huhu..nways…its my blog.who r u to say anythg?? ‘sape makan cili die rase pedas la kan’..k im starting to sound like minah kilang.. ;p

I learnt a very valuable lesson today..never trust people n let them enter your life easily.I gave that someone my trust n everything for 2 years til I ignored the person who really DO CARE bout me!! When i met him..i forgot the real me and i devoted my life to him. He was playing with my heart for 2yrs. He is damn good!!! Never say ‘that it is ol about me’..i didnt start this by myself. Remember that..I was trying my best to work things out but what I didnt realize was that he humiliated me in front of his friends n family since early this yr or maybe for the entire past 2yrs. I dont know... He used me to get the attention of other girls. Yeah…I should worry about my status but u can do whatever u want rite?? :) All this while I kept blaming my friends who looked at him -vely. I even praised him in front of everyone.. I should have listened to everyone including my boss!! I should have listened to my friends when they told me that they bumped into him went out with different girls few times!! I was too blind to see it!! Why???!!! He is very good with playing words! He even played my family! Thats the thing that I really cudnt accept. How someone could has the heart to betray my parents trust!! After all that Ive gone tru for him..this is how he treated me n he has the guts to blame it on me!! He played me from early this year with that lady. He was having some difficulties before. I tried my best to help him. He used the support i gave him to bring that person out for movies n meals. Once he told me that he almost ran out of petrol n he wanted to bring his sisters out to scout for a new house to rent. N being me as usual..i blieve in him. Guess what..the lady proudly told me that yes he went out with his sisters to survey for new house but..he fetched her 1st at home n then went out for a date afterward. Its not about money..its about how one person can be very convincing n plastic at the same time. I helped him sincerely bcos of my feelings for him. But he betrayed it big time. Its about my pride n dignity.. What do u feel when u helped someone u trusted but the person use it to have fun with someone else?? N not forgetting..he used the same technique to all his victims..such as taking pictures of different pose n then paste it on powerpoint n named it 'her many faces..or watsoeva'...bring the victim to his meeting room to watch sunset n then u know what happened next la kan...i leave it to your own discretion :)... God still loves me…He answered my prayers. Now I see everything clearly. Eventho I only found the truth after 2 years. Its not too late.. one day he’ll get the reward from the Almighty. What comes around goes around :)

To my fiancé fikhree…from the bottom of my heart..I beg for your forgiveness. I should have listened to you. No matter how bad I hurt u..You never give up..u stood up like a real man n fought for me. You are a miracle. In the past 2yrs...it was so hard for me to utter the words to u..Ada hikmah behind it...Im ready to start a new life n much more interesting life with u.I was stupid.I was blind.I was weak.I was cheated..just name it.Im not ashame to say ol that.cos its true..but I cant imagine anyone in this world could be as patient n caring as u r. U r d one n only.u were always the one.i was blinded by fake promises..

To my family… I apologize for bringing this person into our family and then betrayed your trust! I should have listened to my sis n bro..they were rite!!!

To my friends and colleagues… I love u guys so much!! Tq for standing by my side 24-7!!

To my bosses..I will work harder from now on and never let this someone to distract my attention anymore.

To this someones family and friends..i need to clear my name. I am not whatever he told you! All I can say is..no one knows.U only hear from his side.I never got the chance to say anything.So its up to u to judge..No one knew for God knows how long i cried everynite for him. for what?? He made me believe that this happened bcos of me!! He played with my head n feelings! All u can see is that i am the bitch rite? Yeah..he is nice..but u just dont know the dark side of him.No one knows :) y shoud I just keep quiet n let them badmouth about me..after ol.no one would believe in me rite? Cos im not wearing any veil ;)

To everyone..never use the excuse that you are allow to become a womanizer/playboy because u need all the attention from women cos u have lost your beloved mom. Thats a very classic and lame excuse!! One day it will eat u back…”Sepandai-pandai tupai melompat, akhirnya jatuh ke tanah jua’..

To the lady who is with or not with him now…whatever..I wish u all the best. You r also a very gud actress. You played me real well. U called me 1st..giving ur fake motivation making me believe that u r sincere. The funny part was..i trusted u! When u proposed to meet up.. again i tot u were sincere! But when i tink of it again...listening to all ur stories bout wat uve done with him behind my back. It was just cruel..no woman in this world wud tell ol those stories to someone who has gone tru so much wt the same guy. Unless u purposedly wanted to make her jealous n to gave her more heartache. Her last words to me "Perempuan bodoh je balik to a guy like him..I wont..So you should do the same" but when we confronted him..suddenly she told tis to the guy..'if u nak move on..i can support u..but mane boleh sekali 2 org'????? shit!!! ...u played me!!! so its proven that u r one now..im referring to her last words to me. Way to go lady!! No wonder someone told me that 'buku bertemu dengan ruas'..cos you guys r made for each other. No one would believe in me.So I just leave it to God :) I neva tot that evil women like u exist in real life... Its proven that girls with veils can be much much more evil than girls without one. U played ur own kind. U r so good at this rite?? U asked him once what does he wants in life..u should ask that to yourself lady. What do u want in life?? Pretending to be a goodie2 2 shoes for how long??? No wonder its easy for u to let go of ur ex-fiance for someone new n played your new bf..bcos its just u!! I am so glad that I am not u even I am weak…u can say whatever u want.it wont work anymore.go n continue badmouthing about me to him.cos u know that u feel insecure or wateva..i jus dun care anymore..cos Im just not u!!!

To the girls that I have heard your names before..to name a few..I***ni, B***i, S****h, F**a..etc. You know who you r. I dont know you guys n im not sure wheter he played u or not. Am sorry if i looked at u guys -vely before..cos I dont know the true story.everytime I asked him..he will say ‘shes only another girlfriend of mine’ :) n he told me that he was pissed off with that girl cos she hooked him up with a ‘pondan’ etc.n I believed in him.but now im not sure whether whateva he told me before bout ol those girls were true or not.looks like its not.he played me..if only i knew the truth earlier.i wouldnt have wasted my life for 2 years!!

To this someone…tq for everything. I have to admit that u helped me a lot before but that doesnt allow you to treat me like shit/animal n betrayed my trust!! Ive told you..when you said 'org buat mulut pasal sy cos sy kerja bagus..ade rupa n single…perempuan nyusahkan hidup aku..aku nak jadi gay lepas ni..nak balik kuching jaga bapak aku..n jangan provoke saya that I will go to her cos i wont..cos sy dah benci perempuan!'.. I so... dun believe u..cos I know you cant live without one. Admit it! U dont know how u turn my life upside down especially within tis past 4mnths. They only hear from your side. What about my side?? I know u r badmouthing bout me to the lady n your family n God knows who else. When i called u at nite..u told her that i disturbed u. When u knew that i was coming to fetch u at home..u sent her sms asking for her help to rescue u as if i was stalking u!!!! what the fuck was that??? Thats a very stupid way to get a lady as cheap as her!!!! If thats the way u treat a person that has gone trough so much with u.Then u dont deserve me. No one knows what I went tru for u. It was never about me..it was ol about u from the moment I met u. Its about u having a gud job n needing someone to be by your side. N u made me learn to l**e u by giving ol your fake promises. Everytime I wana backoff..u came back wt more n more promises. Jus see what happened in the end..so please! It was never about me..It was ol about what u want n when u got it n then u found a new one..u just go for it n dump the old one like a trash. No one knows…I cant imagine what would happen to me if I end up with u..n yeah..my father is a retiree..no wonder u ditch me for someone who has more power rite?? n tq for givin back wat u owed me. Again..like u said..'its not about harta...' its about my pride. U used me when u wanted to go out with her. Anyone would feel the same..i am just a human.When my mom called u..u have the cheek to tell her that u had a girlfriend before me n u left her for me!!! wat the fuck was that??!!! If u wana ditch me..there are so many other ways to do it..not like this. Criusly..no one knows. Thats ol I can afford to say..whatever it is.Tq for everything…n I mean it!

I thank you God..for showing me the right path. Especially after what had happened yesterday. He yelled at me infront of his house like im an animal!!! I am just a girl ok n i was lost. Do i deserve tht kind of treatment???? N when I saw his sister gave me a one good solid sharp glanced yesterday like I am a beggar or something..It really really opened up my eyes…y do I have to go tru ol this for this bastard??? Obviously no one would believe in me.so just let it go..go to hell with them.i am so so much better than this.they r way out of my league.I was so weak!!! I just let them bullied me..but no more. I am way much much stronger now :) u just dont know what u have turned me into…I am so thankful that I have everyones support. I admit that i was not a good person myself for these past 2 yrs.i was weak..n I was stupid to see the truth.but i am so.. not him n the lady!! i am not perfect..but at least im trying my best..saya bersyukur atas apa yang ada. Very loving and supporting family..extremely understanding and gorgeous fiance..incredible friends..good job...and im moving on. Thank you God..Tq for teaching me this lesson..never trust people easily even how nice and sincere they can be.. Alhamudillah..

Up to u to judge me..this is how I feel after 2yrs…i just have to say it out loud. i cant keep it to myself nmore.no one knows…im not perfect. its not ol about me..it was never about me… :)

Comments

[Afzan]

Zu....Im EXTREMELY HAPPY for you now...even i cant be there to bitching bout this at starbuck..ehehehe...Buckle up gurl!

[Afzan]

Zu..really?Its in my office gak ke???hurm...sapa ek..suspen la plak aku..not that i know anyone...but i will find ou..(kasi la aku personal msg zu nama budak tuh)so aku leh lah evaluate sapa budak tuh..might be new batch thats why i dont know.

[Ayuni]

Good!! Move on, you have us with you. Just let go of the weirdo..let them be diva in their own plastic world :)

[shah]

hope u feel much better, dear...

for rain shall pour before the wonderful rainbow appears~

[NeA]

HI..Way 2 go Gurl..
Jantan Mcm tu Memang Tak Guna...Lucky u met 1..I met a few of Them..its really hurt yo!